and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
