just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
