i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
