thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
