Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
