Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Randomize
