He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
