Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize