Rock
Scissors
Fuck
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize