Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
