am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
