who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
