So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
