i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
it glows. i had to have it.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
MIDGETS
????
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
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