the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
