His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
