You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
