I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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