I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
