Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
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