standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
