Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
