I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
How's work?
Spinning.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
