i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Also, beer. Big fan.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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