I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Who died my cat blue again?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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