i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
