Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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