okay pat passed out under dana's car
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
