it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize