no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
