Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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