how can u be prego again
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
