Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
