I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
