I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize