id be glad to
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
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