I just pynch a tree in the face
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
