God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
