Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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