Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
