You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize