I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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