drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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