her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
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We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
