How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
