So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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