i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
