She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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