I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
