i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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