Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
