508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He shit in the fireplace
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
