Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
