In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Randomize
