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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget

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• (631): View more from New York

  10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...

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• (858): View more from California

  I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops

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