Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
