What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
i need some magic done to my vagina
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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